soaked!

i don't know if life could get any better. more and more i realise God's purpose in creating me. that sounds quite wierd, most likely, but if you think about it, it's not.. i was designed to share the excellent qualities of God, and am fully lost in His purposes for me, and i couldn't be happier. how many ppl actually get to live out their purpose, and feel fully alive?.. i realised after hangin' out with 150 homeless men and women tonite, and standing on the street in the pouring rain for 2 hours talking with someone about Jesus, and every thing from titanic, to stalin, to the aero-dynamic of flight in birds, that ppl just need to be listened to. you can pray for joe. joe is a man i met tonite at the end of our nite at the homeless shelter, after standing in front of 150 ppl and talking and hangin' out with them, and after the meals were finished and everything was being cleaned.. after shaking the hands of drug addicts and having real conversations with people with aids and addicted to heroine, and giving little boys who live on the streets hugs.. i feel fully alive, and that everything i was created for and totally at home by being surrounded by the most messed up, broken ppl of this world, who are passed out on our floor from alcohol and drugs, who are fighting and cursing like there is no tomorrow and have absolutely nothing. i love them. i just love them. i just hug them and talk to them and nothing else matters but loving them and showing Jesus to them. i could never get paid again and wear a big plastic bag for the rest of my life if just for the moments to spend with these ppl.. and this man joe and i started talking rite at the end of the nite, he wanted a clean shirt.. i told him, i didnt have one, but that i was so sorry and would see what i could do. we got talking.. one of the most intelligent men i have ever talked to, and one of the most broken men, from heroine, and nicotine and alcohol, and nite terrors.. he knew more about the Bible than me, and it was so amazing.. cuz i just let him talk and parts of our conversation were the most random things i have ever talked about, and things i hadnt a clue about.. and yet, the man just needed someone to listen to him.. he even said.. this world has no time for ppl like me, and yet, it seems like you have all the time in the world.. how are you like that? why do you care? you have a heart of gold.. ppl like you are very rare, he goes, i couldnt talk to any of me mates about this kind of stuff even, no one cares, but you do, why?.. and i got to share the gospel with him.. i got to tell him that that was Jesus in me.. and we talked about the hardships and the realities of this messed up world and the Spirit just lead and i asked to pray for him, and then we talked till we got kicked out, and we walked in the town for ages in the pouring rain, as this man just poured out his heart. (now this is a man in his 60's, sharing his whole life!!), and yet, the Spirit just moved, and we talked about Jesus, outside, in the pouring rain, getting soaked.. and yet.. it was the most amazing nite.. in those moments, nothing mattered, but this man knowing Jesus, i told him he had a decision, and the only decision in life he needed to make was where and how he wanted to spend eternity.. the gospel, satan, heaven, hell, the life of Christ.. verses were coming out of no where.. i say this not to boast, but to say that God wants to save ppl.. that He wants to make Himself known to the ppl of this world that have nothing.. He came and chose to be born in bethlehem, in stable, in a jewish home.. he choose a life of lower than average wealth, no status, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him, He hung out with the ppl of this world, and was called a wine-o and a glutton and friend of sinners.. why did He choose to hang out with these ppl? cuz He loves them. He had eternal life, the Words of life to offer them.. they would listen.. He gave them all the time in the world.. He didnt have status, He wasnt attractive physically, He related to the lowest form of ppl in that time.. and they were attracted to Him, bcuz He looked at them and loved them. as i was telling joe this, he got it.. so please pray for Him.. pray for the Words that the Spirit spoke thru me, to take root in His heart.. pray for salvation, thru grace, by faith alone, would come to this man..

as i stood there, mascara running down my face.. hair in a mess of wind and rain.. drenched and looking ridiculous to all the cars driving by as i stood there with this clearly homeless man that smelled, someone that no one would ever notice.. i realised that that is why i, very specifically, am alive.. i could care less how i look, or dont look.. this, very specifically, is why i am here.. my life is not my own, and praise God, becuz i am fully alive! i know im kind of all over the place on this one, but i just have so much on my mind.. the things this world considers important; wealth, status, looks, accomplishments, etc.. are nothing.. they mean nothing, they are all completly meaningless.. what lasts is loosing our lives for the sake of the kingdom.. loving the broken, crucifying ourselves and loving ppl. i dont want to hang out with attractive ppl that have it all together, i dont care about money or looks or ppl with careers, or the "perfect" ppl in churches, or anything like that.. the more i live, the more i realise that i am home, when i am with the broken. the drug addicts, homeless and the street ppl.. not necassarily just youth, cuz i love the 4 year old boy who is a drug baby just as much as i do the 80 year old blind man addicted to cocaine. God is just blowing my mind and allowing me to come fully alive in Him.. what an abundant life.. truely! my prayer for each one of you all is that as you fall more in love with Jesus, that His heart would be your heart, and that you would fall into the things you are created for.. cuz each one of us are.. you dont necessarily love to hang out with homeless ppl, thats why God created me.. i dont necessarily like to do the things you feel alive at.. the body of Christ is brilliant like that.. we are all so free to be ourselves, just as Christ created us to be in Him and it all works out.. its just amazing.. i could give all these scriptures and go all over the board with this blog.. but i wont, i just had to write.. cuz i was so excited to be found.. found in Him.. and so excited about joe.. pray for joe.. thanks you guys.. i know im a spaz.. but hey, i am a spaz in the Lord who just loves ppl.. praise God! love you all.