Hmmm.. -

So 2010 has been a strange year. Pretty much a year of "finding myself" in the states. Sounds kind of weird, but it's the first time I've been home that I have not had it in my mind that I am moving overseas longterm again -- I've had to get a normal job, do normal things -- and it's been really hard to adjust because my whole life has been doing what I'm created to do overseas. It's been retreats, camps, mission trips, travelling all over the world -- for 10 years, and now... I'm just here. The adjustment culturally has been bizarre, I'm not 28 and have lived my life to the fullest and have no clue how exactly to "do" it here..

January to now specifically has been a time of alot of change, alot of good decisions and alot of bad decisions. Alot of challenging everything I've grown to believe and making choices that aren't so good -- then seeing why God is completely good and Sovreign as He gently restores me time and time again and draws me back in love, showing me the way of grace and mercy and true joy that's only in Him.

I have seen the absolutely depravity of man - in people and myself and as I looked to His Word today, was greatly encouraged and just wanted to write this chunk of Scripture as encouragement. Believe me -- if I wrote the things that have happened in my life over the last couple of months, it would drop your jaw in shock -- things that are appaling and soo ridiculous... and yet I praise Him.. for in all things He works for good. There is future. There is hope. He is Sovreign and so very good at all times.

Deut. 30:1-10
When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the Lord disperses you among the nations, and when you and your children return to the Lord your God and obey Him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where He has scattered you. Even if you have been banished on the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back. He will bring you to the land that belonged to your fathers, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers. The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love Him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. The Lord your God will put all these curses on your enemies who hate and persecute you. You will again obey the Lord and follow all His commands that I am giving you today. Then the Lord will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young and your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as He delighted in your fathers, if you obey the Lord your God and keep His commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul."

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." I John 5:1-5

They are not burdensome -- but LIFE!!

"He brought me into a spacious place; He rescued me because He deligthed in me" Psalm 18:19

I have found out today some very very troubling things that have been happening with people I was once close to - my life has been rescued. Literally. Physically. Spiritually. Emotionally. And this is because of grace. Undeserved, from the Allmighty God who delights in me..

Praise God.