December 1st, 2010

Here's to a soon to be new year. Wow, if you read the post below, you'd understand just how crazy 2010 has been from bad decisions I've made - and how the last couple of months, God has been pursuing my heart like crazy and restored everything so beyond abundantly. It's a story of redemption, really. The first that just comes to life in my own is the very popular one in Psalms where it says, He brought me out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock -- this could not be more how I feel, but to dramatize it, it is kind of like this.. I was literally stuck. Drowning, gasping for air... unable to move.. helpless - truly could do nothing do get myself out of these places I had somehow gotten myself into. I felt like daily the clay and muck were hardening over me and I felt like I was going to fossilize and be this shell of a person inside this garbage - my heart cried out - daily - God!! Help me! - and all of a sudden... He did. The second I realized that I had no strength in myself - He literally pulled me out of that mess and moved me to a completely new place, high up - and it was firm and not unstable and I was clean and could breath and was no longer drowning.. and quite literally He saved my entire life -- and heart -- and spirit. And slowly becoming one of my favourite verses is: Psal 18:19, and it says, "He brought me into a spacious place and rescued me because He delighted in me." and all I can say is that is exactly what happened. The second I turned from my bad decisions and to God - He was literally, rite there. He hadn't gone anywhere - He wasn't mad, He wasn't anything but full of grace and mercy and rite at my place of need. He was just waiting, but not only that, as in some passive way, because the whole time He was pursuing me and I ignored it -- but the second I responded -- there He was.

Restored. Renewed. Revived. Resurrected. Where sin abounded, grace much more. Redemption. Life. Abundant. Hope. Grace. Mercy. Joy. Delight. 100 million fold. So much more than. .. These represent the things that come to mind when I think of my life these last few months and I can truly say, that God desires this for each person. I look at my life going, geeeezz.. I was such a mess! What a wreck in every way I was -- and He saved me. Not my salvation, for that was set long ago, but He saved me from myself. From sin. From death. From fear. From anxiety. From depression. From waywardness.. and He didn't just save me from, but for.. He saved me for Himself. With intention. With purpose and the things He has in store for me, solely because of His grace alone, are going to blow my mind. I know that He is a God who daily loads us w/ benefits. Who's delight is to give us the kingdom. Who is going to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine.

I've posted some pictures. Just of life the last few months. I have been blessed with an amazing job with coworkers who are like family. I love my jr. high girls that I've been privileged to work with since last year.. I love my home and my amazing roomate.. Time w/ my family and all of them in general are such a blessing to me and I couldn't ask for better people to be related to. I have been given friends that would do anything for me and whom I've had the pleasure of getting to share life with. My church is incredible and I am so glad to be a part of that family. And without saying more, I will just say wow, God is incredible. I am so thankful for who He is and love all of you and will post again here soon.

Hmmm.. -

So 2010 has been a strange year. Pretty much a year of "finding myself" in the states. Sounds kind of weird, but it's the first time I've been home that I have not had it in my mind that I am moving overseas longterm again -- I've had to get a normal job, do normal things -- and it's been really hard to adjust because my whole life has been doing what I'm created to do overseas. It's been retreats, camps, mission trips, travelling all over the world -- for 10 years, and now... I'm just here. The adjustment culturally has been bizarre, I'm not 28 and have lived my life to the fullest and have no clue how exactly to "do" it here..

January to now specifically has been a time of alot of change, alot of good decisions and alot of bad decisions. Alot of challenging everything I've grown to believe and making choices that aren't so good -- then seeing why God is completely good and Sovreign as He gently restores me time and time again and draws me back in love, showing me the way of grace and mercy and true joy that's only in Him.

I have seen the absolutely depravity of man - in people and myself and as I looked to His Word today, was greatly encouraged and just wanted to write this chunk of Scripture as encouragement. Believe me -- if I wrote the things that have happened in my life over the last couple of months, it would drop your jaw in shock -- things that are appaling and soo ridiculous... and yet I praise Him.. for in all things He works for good. There is future. There is hope. He is Sovreign and so very good at all times.

Deut. 30:1-10
When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the Lord disperses you among the nations, and when you and your children return to the Lord your God and obey Him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where He has scattered you. Even if you have been banished on the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back. He will bring you to the land that belonged to your fathers, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your fathers. The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love Him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. The Lord your God will put all these curses on your enemies who hate and persecute you. You will again obey the Lord and follow all His commands that I am giving you today. Then the Lord will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young and your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as He delighted in your fathers, if you obey the Lord your God and keep His commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul."

"Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." I John 5:1-5

They are not burdensome -- but LIFE!!

"He brought me into a spacious place; He rescued me because He deligthed in me" Psalm 18:19

I have found out today some very very troubling things that have been happening with people I was once close to - my life has been rescued. Literally. Physically. Spiritually. Emotionally. And this is because of grace. Undeserved, from the Allmighty God who delights in me..

Praise God.

(;

I just looked thru all my postings on here from the last three years and it brought me to tears. Oh man... the life God has given me.. Wow... the things I have seen Him do.. the places He has brought me.. the lives I've seen changed.. My own life, how He has worked.. and I am humbled. And just sit here speechless. I had all this stuff to write.. but now I sit here going... wow..

Oh God.. You are good. Your faithfulness endures beyond our unfaithfulness and your mercies are new every morning. I've gone thru somewhat of a challenging time since the beginning of this year... and seen God literally rescue my life and pursue me and bring me into a wide open space of love and healing, provision, protection, restoration and life... in Psalms He says that He has done this because He delights in me..

All I thought about was the future, the past.. the present.. me this, what about this.. I wanna do this.. Me, me, me... and tonite.. Just now, everything changed. Literally, as I sat down to write this, I had such a different agenda -- it was going to be just an update about how good everything is... but I must say that God is good all the time, regardless of my circumstances and deserves every speck of my praise at each moment, no matter what -- because He is so lovely.

Wow God.. Thank you for you plans.. Thank you for your grace.. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for your Son. Thank you for salvation. Thank you for your provision. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your desire for intimacy with us. Thank you for hope. Thank you for loving us and choosing us and pursuing us in our hideous state. Thank you for laying your life down and serving, though you are God.. Thank you for coming to earth and showing us the way. Thank you for your Word. Thank you for your power and might and lovingkindness. Thank you Jesus. Just thank you for loving me.

My job is amazing. My new house is amazing. Being back in Portland, the city I love is amazing. My family is amazing. My students are amazing. My health is finally better and amazing. My church family has been amazing.. and I just step back going... Whoa... Thank you so much God.. For everything. Good. Bad. Unknown. Known. Seen. Unseen.. Wow.. is pretty much all I can say.. And thank you.. I am so in love with you.

Today

Today - I am blessed beyond words. I type this as I look at the clock and it's telling me I have all of 5 minutes to update some huge things in life before I must go to work.

This summer has been very full, full of family, friends and life changing decisions that have led me to being so blessed and thankful for all that God has given me.

I have spent a ton of time with family -- with only more to come with weddings and reunions and camping and birthdays..

Instead of writing -- here are pics -- Life is amazing. Praise God

Life -- Today

Life, today, is good.

God today is the same - Good.

I am enjoying life - learning alot - making good choices - making bad choices - seeing God's hand in my life. Just being a person and living and loving and learing.

Making new friends - having a great time with old friends.

Loving time with my family. Loving my job. Loving the kids I get to serve with. Loving being a person - today. One day at a time.

Lots of adventures. Travelling. Exploring. Adrenalin'ing. Chillin'. Livin' and just thought I'd give a quick shout out.

Hope - never loose hope. Jesus is amazing. Our lives are forever in His hands and in His grace and faithfulness, you are perfectly loved.

Sigh

Did you all know there is a difference between `bad guys` and actual bad guys? Sigh.... I hate fights. I hate hearing shouting, to look out the window to see another fight. Hate. Hate. Hate it.

I remember my very first day ever in my flat in Dublin, Id literally been in the country all of 30 minutes to look out my window to some guy getting his head beat in the ground. Seeing the blood.. having to try and figure out what the emergency number was here to call the police. Hearing the crunch of bone on ground and fist in face.. Sigh. This just was the lovely beginning to a year where that would be just the start to the amount of drunken and foolish fights I would see..

Well, last nite I was out walking around Temple Bar. An amazing part of town just up the street where there is alway live music, Irish bars, Irish dancing, guys watching rugby matches and the cheers in the streets and all the tourists and natives.. Its a bustling street with something to do and look at and hear and experience for about half a mile long. Its busy. Its beautiful, never a shortage of police or drunken ppl at every glance. But last nite there was this great band playing on the street, so I stopped to listen.. As I stood there, this group of harmless, yet drunken men came and started talking to me... After living here so long, my judgement is very good about the harmless ones and the ones looking to cause trouble, these dudes were just old, Irish and drunk.. The norm. They heard my American accent, so I got talking to all of them.... Irish ppl are hilarious... their jokes, their sense of humour, their realness, and their culture, is just friendly, and I had a great time talking to them, listening to music and getting to know their hearts, for about an hour... They had open alcohol cans, one was smoking a joint (and mind you, were in a group of 50 or so ppl all around), all just having a laugh (loving them and just being Jesus to ppl that have no clue who He is).. Well, the Garda (Irish police) come up and tell the men to get away... A couple of them were missing teeth, they werent supposed to have open alcohol cans, and so 3 of the 4, submissively obeyed, said a good nice to meet ya and went on their way.. the 4th, his name was Deco, decided he did not want to listen (such a good hearted guy, really).. and he didnt leave, but told them he wanted to listen to the music, which was not good.. The Garda cuffed him and hauled him off to jail - This is my defintion of the first bad guy.. Sure, didnt make the best decision by not obeying the police, but really was just harmless and drunk like the rest of the entire city.. not out to cause any trouble, rather just was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everyone else sees him as a criminal - I saw a dude who shouldnt have been drinking in the streets, fair enough, but was minding his own business, and didnt deserve to go to jail.

Actual bad guys are the ones who are outside my window rite now. The ones that have been shouting for 20 minutes.. the ones that, when I look out my window at just the right moment to see what all the shouting is about - I see a fight. I see two men sparring. I see the other two falling down because they are drunk. I see a guy hit in the face.. I see the other karate chop a neck.. I hear yelling. I see aggression. I see fighting, I see alcohol sloshing on the men and slurring fighting words, and I hate it. I hate it. This is my venting email. Where are the Garda for the actual bad guys, the ones pissing on my wall and braking their bottles on my wall, fighting and being aggressive? Ugh.. its just so annoying.... and sad..

In the last couple of days, I have seen men hitting their arms to find a vein to shoot up. I have seen a couple drug deals. I hear sirens that do not cease. There have been 2 murders... and I sigh.... Oh Lord.. you have got to do something more in this place........

No water today

So the city decided to shut off the water in the part of town the mission is in, aka, the place 5 of us girls are living and where hundreds of kids come thru each day and where there are normally 4 bathrooms for them to use, they are now, out of order.. This as means there is no brushing of teeth. No flushing the toilet. No showering. No cooking. No washing clothes. No washing dishes. No drinking it. No, well, you get the point.. Cecile and I walked to the store bout 1/2 mile away and carried 6 litres each home -- oh the joys..

It's been good though, I've been making the most of all my time here, catching up with as many people as possible and seeing kids and students I use to work with, ever chance I get. I saw one of my old Choose Life teens -- and his life has changed in every way. The rest of his friends and the ones I use to work with are all massively involved in dealing and doing cocaine and you can definetly be praying for them, bcuz it breaks my heart, but he however, and 2 of the girls (3 out of 11), have come thru knowing Jesus and having their lives transformed. 2 of them even went on a mission trip to Belarus that they can't stop talking about and are helping out in the mission here as leaders.. and if you would have known these ones like I did (and maybe you remember stories) -- then seeing them as I do now is actually mind blowing.. It's incredible!!! 180 degree change.. Thank God, and thank Him as well for what He is going to do with the others, that I believe He will all in His time.

Anyways, I am off again to meet up w/ Samaria.. you can be praying for my healing, I believe that Jesus has paid for my healing and by His stripes we have been healed and so therefore I walk in that.. however, the damp and cold and walking everywhere and sleeping in a frigid stone walls building, has gotten into my chest a little bit, but I walk in faith that I will not get sick, and your prayers in agreement for that would be great. Will write more later!! See you all next week!

Day in Bray, Nite with Friends

Yesterday was so good.. spent time walking about Dublin with Cecile taking photos and seeing old friends, and then I got to go to see all of my friends from church at a party they were having. It was soo good. Most of them are South African, so we had amazing food.. played games.. had fellowship.. was amazing.. as always. Was out very late... and up very early this morning..

Cecile and I went to Bray, which, I think, is one of the most beautiful places over here. Its an amazing little city on the Irish sea.. and we got there and it was sunny.. Perfect.. We literally walked about 7 miles today and even hiked thru the mud and all to get to the top of Bray. SOO beautiful. As we were hiking up, we saw all these horses and dogs.. its was really crazy, and so pretty.. pretty much a perfect day..

What an adventure.. we just got home, covered in mud, because of course it was very slippery and kept falling and we were soaked and mud caked.. was awesome.. tonite Ill meet up with some more friends for a movie nite and I have decided that on Saturday, Im going to Galway... to the West side.. Ive never been.. busses our cheap... why not..

So enjoy these pics, I have to go soon.. Having such a blast..

So many stories

Ok, I know I just finished a blog, but I just keep getting in conversations and hearing stories and seeing things here that could fill up books. The stories of what is happening here, the things God is doing and the like... are just amazing..

My young people's lives are changing -- choosing to take gunshots to the legs, instead of the heads -- then, having their lives changed by the Spirit of God and having their once gang infested, in and out of prison lives, turned around and they are telling their stories to their peers and things are changing.. Seeing a guy I used to know at the Lighthouse, in and out of hospital all the time from overdosing, constantly on heroine, never knowing if you would see him dead or alive -- and I saw him yesterday, and the story of hope here is that he is very much alive and still going. Seeing little girls who used to be babies, now coming to clubs, experiencing love and Jesus, which they will see no where else.. Seeing the food continue on and on at the Lighthouse, as much is needed, til all are fed, and seeing God provide.. Hearing of the girl who use to assault me and the boys that use to threaten me, going on mission trips and having their lives changed by Jesus.. Running into ppl that I don't even remember, saying to me, oh wow, you're back, you sure made your mark here for sure, it's great to have ya.. Girls who I met one time who I got to see again, hug me like there is no tmrw beggin' me not to go, tellin' me they still had their wee notebooks I have given them like almost 3 years ago!!! It's been a insane.. God is so good.. and still so very at work here!!!

Day 6

I've been a bit bad keepin' the updates goin' -- but am having a blast. I have been catching up and getting together with everyone I possibly can, as well as being a tour guide to my Swiss roomie.. It's great, because everywhere I think is cool, I'm able to take her around and show her and take pictures and have someone who has never been here think it's beautiful and amazing..

I have been doing all the things I never got to, as well, because I worked so much here, and now I have all the free time I want, as well as the chance to stop in the clubs and see the ppl and kids.. it's the best of both worlds. My feet are so sore, from dancing and walking so much in my converse -- but so it goes.. Just such a blessing to have such a wonderful time to catch up w/ old friends and start off just where we left off as if no time has gone by at all.

Must say as well how much perspective this trip is giving me as well. Every time I have left Ireland, it's felt so out of reach, but so close. Like, I can just make a phone call, or look at a picture and it all just seems to be right up the road, and it's always been such a bummer to me that I can't just go outside and drive to see these ppl, and yet, here I am... However, it's given me this great appreciation for the life God has given me at home! I have never seen what I'm seeing before... It's total confirmation to me that God has me in Portland, with intention and purpose and for a reason, and the job, car, church, family, friends, place to live, roomates, and ministries He has me involved in are EXACTLY where I am to be, and I am soo content in that.. and so full of joy and so blessed.. Not only am I able to come visit my pepes overseas anytime I desire, but I have a life to come back to, feels like, for the first time -- and a life with relationships and ppl and places that I can't wait to get back to... that's definetly a first.

I'm just praising God that He knows our hearts. Knows our desires. Knows the reasons He created us and how He alone perfectly leads us into all the right things in His perfect time.

I pray all of you are blessed, and can't wait to come back and do life with you all. In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy every bit of Ireland and relationship here I can, enjoying and savouring each moment... The Irish dancing, traditional live music, city, ppl, food, accents, culture and my relationships will keep me very busy the next week and a half, but I'll see you's all before ya know it! Off I go till later.

Day 3

It feels like Ive been here for ages already, however, I'm only to bein' here 3 days and a bit. Nothing, except all the good things I keep hearing about what God is doing and continues to do, has changed, including the end of week checks to see if we got lice, ah yes, good times! Yesterday I went out to coffee with Leisel, as we always use to, and found a cute coffee place in the middle of some mall, and it was so good to catch up -- then shop!

It's freezing cold, but with thermals on under everything and layer and more layers and coats and gloves and scarves, I remembered how to manage when the wind is blowing in your face and pelting rain, and your only option is walking.. I have missed it. I walked around all of Dublin yesterday, delighted that I could still get myself everywhere I wanted to go, and I went to all the places I remember passing by daily and took so many pictures, sopping wet from the lashing rain, however it was all worth it bcuz I got to go to the Lighthouse!!!

The Lighthouse was the biggest blessing of my time here when I lived here, so getting to see the people I use to work with, my "Irish grandmother" and the ppl that took me in as their own during my year here, made my heart beat so fast as I anticipated seeing them. Sure enough, when I walked in, one swore straighaway from being so shocked to see me, cuz none of them new I was coming... It was sooo amazing to catch up with them and laugh and be encouraged!

After the Lighthouse, I met Sami and Leisel and we went cross town to Leisel's to dye her hair and watch Grey's Anatomy.. Ah the memories..... I sat so content w/ my friends.. in Dublin... and it was so great... Sami and I then braved the elements again -- to walk half an hour home, at 1am to get to bed.. There is nothing like the relationships and conversation that happens when you daily look ridiculous becuz of the amount of bundling up you have to do to survive walking everywhere here, and the conversation and the connections that happen on the walks to get everywhere with ppl. I miss that.. Having a half hour here, a half hour there just to talk, as you walk -- it's great.. So here's alot of pics.. The updates are short and sweet, I know, I would rather just be out and about than typing a blog -- but I am doing my best..

Hope everyone is well.. See you in a couple of weeks! God is good. Praying for you all. XO

Ah the smell of piss, sounds of sirens and drunken fights

Ah yes... I am in Dublin. So, lets try this again. I am retyping the blog that somehow was translated into German last nite, it will be short and sweet, because I want to go out and about, but wanted to share my ystrdy with everyone.

So my second day here was wonderful.. somehow the snow disappeared overnite, literally, and we are back to cold, windy Dublin. I had forgotten about how bone chilling cold it was here, but not even outside, but in the mission -- my room.. every room... Frigid. We wear layer upon layer, and it's great -- because I'm here and all these memories come flooding back. I was able to go to the clubs yesterday and catch up with old friends and even as I was out and about shopping, I kept running into students and people that didn't even know I was coming to town, and it was so nice being to catch up and shock them!!

It's interesting as I am reminded of all the sights and smells and sounds of Dublin. The welcome into town from all the sirens, and seaguls and chiming bells from all the cathedrals around town. I walk the streets and smell piss and see guys peeing into garbage bins on the road -- something that they are infamous for here, as I remember having been peed on many times.. At nite as I walk, I see the drunken fights, and from the first moment, I am aware of my surroundings again.. Senses hightened, as I watch my back, my belongings and smell alcohol on all the folks. All this as I smile -- ah yes, I love Dublin. There were two murders outside the Lighthouse last nite, the homeless shelter I work in, and of course, it's drug related -- I am reminded where I am, as each street I walk is another memory, and again, I smile... This also from being very full, because all they do here is eat!! The food is amazing, the pastries, biscuits, sweets, chocolate, carbs, chippers and cups o' tea every 5 minutes makes one very very, constantly full, it's a good thing we walk everywhere around here.... I saw on tv last nite a new reality show based in Dublin, called, 70 days of Sobriety. Where they take 6 normal Dublin blokes and it's a show showing their lives w/out them drinking for 3 and a half months, just the thought of it before the series has even started is breaking these men into cold sweats!! -- it's just such an odd fighting and drinking culture.... I was reminded of this again, as I walked the streets and saw the young kids pelting cars and unsuspecting old people with ice balls as they ran away to reak more havoc.. Ah Dublin..

It's so good to be back. The track suits, rugby tops, dance music in every shop and the thick Dublish accent makes my heart so happy. God is definetly still very much at work here and I smile... and keep smiling. Thanks for all your prayers. Will write more tonite. God bless.

Back in Dublin, Ireland

I am seriously trippin', in a good way. I have been in Dublin now for about 12 hours.... and lemme tell you, it's so weird!!! Let me start from the beginning -- (God's provision and goodness blowing my mind from the first 3 hours of this trip).

So, I board the plane from Portland to Chicago -- end up sitting next to a guy who is at Moody Bible Institute working as an urban youth worker in Garfield Park, one of the most notorious gang lands in Chicago.. immediately him and I start talking, comparing things he does, to what I have been doing and the entirety of the flight we talked, was so encouraging to hear and compare these stories of insane things God is doing... Made a new friend for sure and then it was hilarious, for a 4 hour flight, this guy, who is my age, had found in all of his coat pockets, zip lock baggies of food his mom had put in so he wouldn't starve.. He had slices of meat, sticks of cheese, cornbread, cracker jacks, apple slices, and on and on-- no joke, it was so funny and we were thankful for these random packed snacks, cuz our flight didn't serve any food.. Anyways, during this flight we get news that Dublin airport has been closed down due to snow and blizzard like conditions and ice for the last 7 days and the airports not only in Dublin, but the entirety of Europe, have been shut down to further notice due to the worst arctic weather in years... my heart began to sink -- and I told this new friend from Moody that God knew I had only so much time to spend in Dublin and had planne this trip months in advance, so trusted their was something much more important in Chicago he had me going to, or that He was going to make a way.

I arrive in Chicago and get to the international terminal and my heart was so full of joy as I heard every accent and language you could imagine and all of a sudden, me, as an American, was a minority -- yay. As I listened to these beautiful ppl talk about sports and politics and weather and so on, I overheard a conversation of two Dublin'ers talking about how they have been stuck in Chicago for 1 week because for 7 days in a row, their flights had been cancelled.. Hmm.. I thought, I am soo close, am I seriously going to get stuck in Chicago??? I decided not. In the Word it says that we are to declare things in faith that are not as though they were.. it tells me that all things (every tiny thing) works for the good of those that love Him and have been called according to His purpose.. it tells me that faith pleases God and that we have not because we ask not.. it tells me that nothing (not one detail), is impossible for God and to trust Him w/ all my heart, even when I don't understand, and to acknowledge Him in everything and HE WILL direct my paths... So with all these things in mind I began to declare that God was good, that He was trustworthy, that He works all things for good, that I trust Him beyond what I understand, and asked Him, then thanked Him for making a way to Dublin, when all else said there was not. I declared this over and over -- situational circumstances were impossible, however, I wait on God. So I waited to hear the status of our flight. For 5 hours I waited..

Well -- weirdest thing. Our flight was only delayed one hour. And it was the only flight that God to fly out into Dublin.. Weird how that works!!! I sat in the air, amazed. Here we are, flying, against all odds, thru the snow and blizzard -- to get me to Dublin. God is very good. Usually flying into Ireland, all you see is green -- this time, it was only white. White everywhere!! It was soo beautiful, I have never seen anything like it.

I arrive, my luggage arrives.. My old coworker from the mission pick me up and take me to the community I use to work in... I felt like crying I was so happy.. Memory after memory after memory flooded by brain.. And then I entered this world of Dublin and Drimnagh and Crumlin, where nothing had changed. My memories and pictures in my head and experiences I had and everything was the same. I know how to get around, I know where I am, I recognize ppl, I catch up w/ old friends, and alas, I remember. Remember my heart, remember what I am created for. I got perspective and can let out a deep breathe of joy.. Ah... I am in Ireland again.

THEN, I go to the mission where I lived.. and oh man..... oh man! I go to my old bedroom and kitchen and roomates room and bathroom and the same office and gym and, and, and.... everything is the same.. Then I did start crying.. So happy.. Because when I left 18 mnths ago, I felt like that was the end forever, that everything was changing, that I would never be back here, never see these ppl again -- then all of a sudden, here I am, standing in my old bedroom -- and nothing is different, not even the relationships w/ ppl, we just started where we left off and I realized that life is so good. That I can come back anytime and that this part of my life that has been such a huge part of my life, is not over, just gets continued, like when your son or daughter is away to college and you don't see them for a year, but the second you do, all is the same, and well and you just pick up from where you left off.. That's what it's like for me... I'm able to come back anytime and have "family" here and all my same friends -- and that is a very good thing..

So after completely having a jet lagged body and head full of memories and heart full of joy, I got to meet up with Samaria (my roomie), in town, w/ some friends and we walked to church -- walking the streets of Dublin again.. I can get myself anywhere still and here we sit in the office like we use to, overlooking the Four Courts covered in snow, she types an essay and I type blogs home before I pass out from not sleeping in 3 days and I think, wow... life is good. Not only do I have a life I love in Oregon that I get to come back to, but I still have my life in Ireland that I can come back to anytime.. Tremendous!!

I will be updating as I can --- not as much as this, because I am going to be doing as much as possible!!! But yes, thank you for your prayers and will see you all soon. (I have way more photos but the website just crashed -- will post more later, they're all on facebook)