the hope of heaven

without this hope, my heart would not be able to handle my life. these last couple of weeks, God has been restoring my heart, again and again, with the surety of heaven and how my heart is already in eternity. im ending another year of having started a life somewhere in a place i will be shortly leaving, and i have been thinking of all of the people that i have met, all the places i have seen, all the things that i have seen God do, and all the lives that have become so quickly a huge part of mine.. and after saying goodbye after goodbye, with the reality in the back of my mind that i may, in fact, never see most of these people until heaven, i am oddly comforted. i heard someone say that this life will one day be but a shadow and a faint whisper of our eternity past, and daily, God is showing me more and more that goodbyes are not the end. and its been really weird, but i have, for the first time, really come to terms with the fact that i am going to, at some point, die. obviously ive known that forever, but to truley think about it and grasp the concept that this life is just the beginning and the reality is that i will live on.. blows my mind and fills me with so much hope. and not to live in fear, or regret, but it inspires me and pushes me on to fully live, with the knowledge that, when my life is over, i will be with God, and with people i love, there will be endless communion, endless fellowship, endless joy.. the home of righteousness, where every tear will be wiped away, every sigh will flee and everlasting joy and abundant life will be mine.. ive been challenged that every moment here matters, that everything i do.. matters.. for eternity.. it kinda puts everything in perspective, which is awesome.

the last two weeks i was on 2 separate camps.. i could write books about the things God did there.. but on the first week, we had a short term team from amarillo, texas come over.. these were all ppl my age, and they very quickly became my family.. God blessed me with so much fellowship and encouragement and friendship with these ppl, that, when it came time for me to say goodbye to them, i was crying my eyes out, and i had known them just a little over a week.. i always use to see it as a curse, but im realising what an immense blessing it is.. that i become so close to ppl, so fast. everywhere i go, it seems, within a short amount of time, ppl have entered my life that i hold as dear to my heart as i do my family.. and ive always seen it as such a horrible thing, cuz throughout my life i have said goodbye to ppl from about 20 different countries in this world. people that i stay in touch with and will always love, but will most likely never see anytime soon.. that always use to make me so sad.. but as i have said... the hope of heaven.. the reality is, its a huge blessing! i will see these ppl again, and it will be forever.. forever!! it brings me to tears to even think about it. its not just some fantasy, or crutch to make me feel better.. the Bible says, that as believers, our hearts are hidden with God in Christ and we are to set our minds on things above, cuz we are already citizens of His kingdom.. and the realisation of that.. the reunions and joy.. and eternity with God is coming.. its real. it is going to happen.. and it doesnt make saying goodbyes easier, but it does fill me with praise to think that God has given me this incredible gift.. and urges me on even more to tell those that dont know whats waiting for them yet.

kindof a wee tangent, thats nothing i even wanted to write about.. but i was looking at pics i was going to post and just had to say all that...

anyways, the camps were amazing.. i was put as the leader of a tent with 4 of the our roughest 16 year old girls that dcm has been working with.. i was soo dreading my week.. the threats, the violence, the lack of sleep id be getting abuse in every way id be having to deal with.. so, immediately, i just began praying.. i had the most "unreachable" girls you can possibly imagine, well, actually you cant imagine, and i had to be with them all week..

it was funny too, cuz we had warned the americans all week, that these werent your typical kids.. not even typical rough kids.. and lo and behold.. the first nite it was chaos and riots.. we had about 40 13-16 year old kids, fighting, swearing, being aggressive, chasing each other with knives, telling all the americans to f-off back to america and spitting in ppl's faces.. breaking things, burning things.. just another nite with dcm.. but these 16 americans were sitting there, stunned.. absolutely stunned.. not one of them knew what was going on and as much as they thought they were prepared for anything.. they werent.. it was quite comical.. nothing out of the ordinary to us, but we got the kids to relax like we always do and all i can say is... God showed up in a way that i never thought possible.. the americans ended up connecting with our kids, by the grace of God, despite being beat up and threatened and all of that.. the gospel was preached, kids hearts were changed, girls started crying and this huge working of the Holy Spirit came upon the camp and.. it was just insane..

God moved in every heart.. after praying and praying and praying, and seeing the evil try to work all week long.. and praying thru that.. every kid/teenager/person/leader, was stunned at the presence and power of God working in that week.. the 4 girls i had in my tent, who, ya just dont touch, or theyll knock you out, were coming up to me all week, playing with me hair, wanting hugs... they wouldnt listen to anyone but me.. and God really worked in their lives and everyone was crying by the end of the week when it was time to say goodbye.. sooo untypical of this place.. it was just God.. so much happened... it would take days to write about, hopefully ill get a chance to speak or something, cuz its incredible the amount of stuff that happened..

then!! a second week of camp with girls aged 7-9.. a totally different atmosphere.. here i am, again, sleeping outside, in the pouring rain, with a group of girl, but this time, they are homesick, they have lice, they wet the bed (in my tent.. grrr..).. and we had to be their moms all week.. had to help tie their shoes, comb their hair, hug them when they were sad and got hurt and it was full on like being a mother to 30 girls all week, it was intense! God showed up, though. 2 girls that we know of, accepted Christ.. and it was a fun week.. and now.. im back.. packing.. saying goodbyes.. and trying to be patient till i get to leave.

this year has been full of sooooo much.. its been the hardest, most challenging, trying year of my entire life.. and i am so thankful for it.. and everything in between, but God has really been preparing me for coming home.. i actually cant wait and have so much peace about it...

please continue praying.. God is doing so much more than i could ever imagine and i know, will continue doing so once i leave.. please just pray for me too, that God would continue to use me in my final week and a half here.. that He would be preparing me for re-entering the land of america, and all the readjustments ill have to make there.. and for my heart as i say goodbye to so many dear ppl.. for my mind.. that id stay close to Him.. for my body.. that id stay well and healthy.. for my.. well, everything.. ill try and write again soon..

God bless you all.. shawnda