seriously

i am so fed up with drugs. so fed up with alcohol. so fed up with fightings.. and stabbings.. and hurt.. and beatings.. and and drinking and warring.. and hopelessness.. and gang mentality. and destruction. and suicide. and pain. and religous passivity. and theiving. and people wasting their lives, and having the evil one kill, steal and destroy ppl in front of my very eyes. i am sick of it.. and its time to stop. like these ppl dont know anything else, my kids dont know there is hope. they dont know there is something different. something better. they know nothing good.. and if they have seen glimpses of it, its been robbed from them, before they even could recognise it and its making me so angry.

halloween here for example, is not like it is back home.. no cutesy little kids dressing up asking for candy door to door.. no.. instead, every community has a bonfire.. kids start collecting wood early october.. and bonfires, huge.. like 40 feet high things, will be lit.. all nite long.. not so bad.. but mixed with kids starting to drink in the morning time, at the age of 11... being drunk by the nite.. not a good mix.. then there is the warring time at nite as well.. kids from the north side go to battle it out with the kids from the south side.. take two by fours.. bats.. watever will work to bash someones face in.. and will war each other.. just for the fun of it.. its what they do here.. drinking.. fire accidents.. warrings and stabbings.. welcome to everyday anyways, but the parents turn a blind eye on halloween, cuz its 'wat you do' on that day.. how ridiculous.. the hospitals will be full the next day of burn victoms, alcohol poisening and stabbing, and fighting victoms. please pray for us.. and our kids.. and protection.

there is hope. there is a reason i am here. there is Christ. He has defeated the evil one. He has defeated sin.. He has made a public spectacle of the evil one.. and does have rule and authority.. and dominion and power.. and He is the hope of these people.. and i am His ambassador.. i am so angry.. righteously angry, that these precious ppl are being robbed of their lives.. and am called here to stand in the gap for these people, before the throne of grace and beg God for their lives. He is out for His own glory, and will work, and will move, if i would ask. i do ask. i do beg, and plead for these ppl's souls.. God is good. God is in love with these ppl, and they are created in His image.. and it is time for the evil one to be bound and stopped from working and movin in these lives and areas. God is faithful. Jesus is victorious. and i am excited to see the Spirit of the Living God work and move in these kids and ppl and communities. no wonder Jesus wept.. i feel like sobbing when i come home everyday. and sometimes do.. the destruction and hopelessness around me is almost unbearable. almost.. until i remember that i am serving a great King. who wants to see His kindgom on earth.. and i know that these are not lost causes. that each kid i talk to, each person i see.. can be redeemed and restored.. and the hope and the joy that i have, can be theres. that is why i keep going. that is why i am here. that is why i need your prayers.. cuz, the evil one wants to destroy me, and distract me, and discourage me.. but i know my Redeemer lives, and i will stand before Him on that day.. and the truth, who is my life.. graciously helps me thru the day. pray for protection, of mind, body and heart and spirit for me.. pray that i do speak words of life and hope and truth and love into these kids placed in my care. pray for lives to be changed.. ppl to be restored. i love these ppl so much.. but yet, i know God loves them even more.. pray He would do His thing.. and just let me be used however as i go on the journey with Him.. righteous anger. pray for these ppl.. nothing is impossible. and i am so filled with joy and hope, in the midst of their despair. praise God. He is so good.. so faithful. soo good.. nite